"ND" AND THE INTERNET

By Omoseye Bolaji

It was “peak period” inside the internet centre, as it were. A cauldron of frenetic activities! Here we were in the heart of Bloemfontein city in one of the internet cafes.

As usual the young ones, the students, were in the majority here now, adolescent boys and girls in school uniform chatting and gossiping whilst savouring the wonders of the internet. Eyes glued on the screen of the computers; intermittently the young ladies in particular checked the latest goings-on on facebook – both on the computer screens and their mobile phones.

Apparently, these days the young find it much easier doing their homework and assignments with the help of the internet. Showing off their knowledge, the pupils luridly made suggestions to each other: “No, try Google!” “Wikipedia is better!” “I still like yahoo,” etc.

I could hardly hide my smiles; perhaps I was in a tolerant mood! But it struck me powerfully how the youth have taken all these scientific marvels in their stride; how they take it all for granted. Whilst the truth is that the world has existed for thousands of years, yet incredibly things like world wide web, internet are just about 20 years old in human existence!

Now virtually everybody, especially the youth take advantage of this technology every time, sending a plethora of electronic messages hither and thither; be it via emails, facebook, twitter, SMS (text messages) etc. I shook my head, remembering that not so many years ago – before the internet became popular in Africa too – as a roving journalist I used to send my reports via telephone (eg from stadia during football or rugby matches), as internet was very scarce then.

“ND”- the owner of the internet cafe now entered, surveying the goings-on inside his internet cafe. He greeted me very well – after all we are both Nigerians and have been friends for years and he moved on to his office.Ah, ND! A very important man indeed, though the hordes of youngsters here at his internet cafe would not know this.

ND, a proud Igbo man to boot, was the first person to popularise the internet in the whole of Bloemfontein city. Almost 10 years ago he opened his internet café and charged incredibly cheap prices for the masses” to come and use his services. To complement this, he went out of his way to teach people the wonders of the internet at a time ignorance was rife in this wise even amongst the most educated people.

Within a few years other people were copying the pioneering efforts of ND, all over the city; opening internet cafes and trying to keep the prices down. Gone now were the days when black people in particular had to more or less “travel” to white areas to use the internet at very exorbitant rates. That was/is the legacy of ND!

And he was not alone. In other South African cities (and towns), Nigerians over the last 10 years have contributed greatly to popularising the internet – in well known cities like Johannesburg, Cape Town, Pretoria, for example. Till date, many of such internet cafes belong to Nigerians; affording cheap access to the internet for large numbers of people; and to boot, often opening their offices to the public at unusual times (eg late into the evening, and on Sundays.

Hence we now see a situation where hordes of people, including young scholars, flood these internet cafes. Yes they are taking so much for granted; but that is part of the effervescence of youth. They take it all in their stride!

RASPUTIN!

By Omoseye Bolaji

“There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow.
Many looked at him with terror and with fear
but to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear…”

From Boney M’s hit, Rasputin.

I was with a white friend or acquaintance, of mine in the South African suburbs. I seldom went to his place and whenever I did, I initially had to jump through hoops of the intimidating presence of his dog (in the courtyard)! But here we were now, in the sitting room.

It was, I suppose, an average sitting room. A big television set, sound system, an impressive library to my left; and the inevitable laptop on the table. Some sofas were dotted around in the room. David (that’s his name), after giving me a drink, said he wanted to play some music.

“I suppose you won’t appreciate the music, though it’s English” he said. “One of my old favourites. It’s Boney M, You know the old group?”I nodded absent-mindedly; my mind was engaged on something else for a moment.

Then I found myself almost freezing, goose pimples coursing through me! All because of the music of Boney M, David was now playing! It was “Rasputin," and its “bizarre” melody and lyrics were affecting me adversely! It was as if I was about to faint!

“What’s going on Bolaji?” he said, “Have you suddenly come over a bit sick?” I forced a wry smile, trying to pull myself together.But my mind had gone back to decades ago, when I was a very young student at the university, University of Ife, Ile-Ife, in Nigeria. I stayed at Angola Hall of residence and there was a particular student in my room who used to play Boney M, especially “Rasputin" rather late in the night almost every day.

He knew by then that most of the inmates in the room did not like this particular song.I remember one of them complaining: “What the hell is this? What type of music is this? It’s like I must run to my mother for protection when I hear this song…Rasputin!”

Yet I found myself fascinated by the lyrics of the bizarre- sounding song (a great international hit decades ago, overseas). Over the years, I was to learn the real-life details of the erstwhile Soviet Union’s Rasputin even more, the gentleman who had caused a stir in Russia many years ago, garnering the reputation of becoming something of a philanderer and manipulator.

I was in Sierra Leone some years ago when I read an authoritative book on the life and times of Rasputin, written by his daughter. Thereafter, I appreciated even more the legacy of the charismatic, controversial Rasputin; and how his life and demise spawned the many legends, myths, exaggerations that still survive him (including the Boney M song on him).

Yet the killing, the murder of Rasputin, is one of the most horrific ever; if contemporary accounts can be believed; he was not only poisoned, but shot many times, stabbed, his manhood cut off, his body thrown in an icy lake etc…all these factors combined to overwhelm me when I heard the “Rasputin" song again!

I said to David now: “Don’t worry. There’s no problem. I was just carried away for a moment. I’m enjoying your drink. Thanks,” Rasputin!!!

THE SVELTE LADY

By Omoseye Bolaji

It had been a rather arduous day – a plethora of unexpected events had soured the day for me - and as “evening” approached, it gets dark very quickly in South Africa now because winter has more or less arrived, I wanted to leave the office and let my hair down a bit.

But I said politely enough to “Madam Maki”, the charming, amiable South African “Manager” of my Office: “Am I glad to leave the office now! I’m bushed, tired, finished,”

“Laelae!” (Never) Madam Maki said, smiling; displaying the full range of her West African vocabulary!

Anyway some time later, I was happy to relax at ATLAS where fine food and drinks are in abundance. But there was to be no peace for the wicked! (as they say) Even as I relaxed with a drink, with what I thought was a hostile, unfriendly expression etched on my face, a few people still came to me to chat intermittently.

One of them was a nice gentleman who works in the main toropo (city) library. “Hi!” he burst out. “We’ve been rather worried about you. You’ve not been to the library for quite some time now. We think it’s strange,” I stared at him.

“We?” I said “Yes my brother,” he replied. “You know people are always asking for you, you and Ntate Flaxman, Mr Lechesa, etc when they come to borrow your books from the library. Many of them are so much interested in literacy and literature and we have to tell them you’ve been ‘scarce’ at the library. I mean, a person like you has published so many books; why should you avoid the libraries?”

What type of logic was this? I wondered, still not in the best of moods. It seemed to me that the legendary Wole Soyinka would regard this type of logic as “casuistry” of the highest order! But I just nodded, muttered something and wondered whether anything could cheer me up. Meanwhile another male friend, or rather acquaintance, of mine had sat down beside me.

The librarian departed, but the acquaintance seated on my right was making “small talk,” and I listened in desultory fashion. Then he suddenly gripped my hand tightly and said: “Oh My! What a lovely lady! Look, my friend!” I stared at the entrance of the place, and a well dressed young lady, lovely to boot, was stepping inside. She had a svelte, streamlined figure. I said to the guy beside me.

“Come on, don’t be childish! There are many lovely ladies around, but it’s not our business."“ But the scamp was grinning. “She’s making a beeline towards you; she’s coming to you!” he announced. “No doubt she knows you,” I was about to say I had never seen the young lady before, but she had got to our table and in a coy way was smiling at me. Stunned, I wondered what was going on. She opened her bag and brought out a sort of exercise book. “I’m sorry if I’m embarrassing you Mr Bolaji,” she said. “I just want your autograph. I’ve read a few of your books and I loved them very much”

Maybe it’s human nature. I suddenly cheered up, whilst signing the autograph for her. The lady had somehow made me feel better; a veritable ray of sunshine!

MALOME STUMPED!

By Omoseye Bolaji

The eatery/drinking place was almost bursting at the seams; but this did not discourage me from entering it. There were raucous and jocose conversations all around.

I looked for a spot to sit, absent-mindedly staring at the elevated TVs.
I was sure, from habit, that at the end of the cavernous place there would be some space for me. And so it turned out – to my right near the cul de sac I could see at least one table empty. But as I almost got there, there was a tug on my arm.

“Chief,” a friendly voice said. “You can take my seat. I was just leaving.” I now saw that it was an acquaintance of sorts, a man of bonhomie. I sat down where he indicated – and noticed that a young man was sitting in front of me. We nodded at each other.

I placed my order with one of the ladies working here, and waited for service. The gentleman in front of me was taking one of those cider drinks, and on my own part I was soon eating a fine plate of pap and dikgorolo cooked intestines. A lover of fine food, the gastronomic delight “went down the hatch” with alacrity! And now I could concentrate on my drink.

It was an almost awkward situation as the gentleman in front of me and I intermittently stared at each other. I do not make it a habit to be too garrulous with strangers and often leave it to the other party to start talking with me. And so it was this time.

“You don’t like talking much eh?” he said. “I have seen you in the papers many times. You write books and stuff eh?”

That was how the ice was broken. I was thinking that here was a personable young man, and we talked a bit. Presently he said: “Every now and then, I go to many places to drink and relax. Perhaps that is what happens when, like in my case, I have no partner!”

I replied: “Come on! A good looking man like you can get a lady anytime...”
A rather rueful smile from him; then he said: “Actually I’m a woman, not a man.” A pause. “You can see my ID Book to this effect...” She gave me her green ID book, and stunned, I saw that it was true! This fine young ‘man’ was actually a woman!

I began to apologise. “I’m sorry ma’am...I’m so stupid.” Like they say in cricket, I was stumped!

But she stopped me, smiling. “Ag, Ntate don’t worry. Many people do make that mistake, thinking I am a man. Even if I did my hair like a girl, I’d still look rather like a man...” She was very decent about it indeed, trying to put me at ease.

But despite her best efforts, her dignified mien, I still felt quite bad and was happy to leave that place soonest! I now realised even better the plight of the celebrated South African (female) athlete, Caster Semenya; and the furore surrounding her gender; with the strident claims in international circles that the powerfully-built young lady must be a man! Unfortunate, really…

ALEJO PATAKI

Alejo Pataki (the distinguished guest)

By OMOSEYE BOLAJI

It was a rather exciting time as Achal Prabhala, a notable international scholar and researcher, spent some days in Bloemfontein city, South Africa (where I am based), learning more about black writing at grassroots level. Flatteringly, he spent a considerable time with me.

Of course I was not the only one Achal met and probed on writing literature. He also met established writers like Flaxman Qoopane, Pule Lechesa, Hector Kunene, Nthabiseng “Jah Rose” Jafta, Raselebeli Khotseng etc. Affable, charming yet intellectually pugnacious (!), Achal was a busy bee during his visit.

On consecutive evenings/nights, I was privileged to be ensconced at the famed Mimosa Mall in Bloemfontein – sipping drinks and the like with Achal. There are many layers to this suave gentleman! This alumnus of Yale University, USA, is a consultant to the nigh-monolithic Wikipedia, an associate editor for Chimurenga, among so many other feathers in his cap.

He is also an avid reader; easily discussing classical and/or literary works of the likes of Charles Dickens, William Shakespeare, Thomas Hardy, JM Coetzee, Ngugi, Nadine Gordimer, Chinua Achebe, Tsitsi Dangarembga, Dambudzo Marechera, among many others. And as a proud Indian, he is well aware of the literary trends in his own country.

As regards Nigeria, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the gentleman (Achal), is well aware of most of the key writers, scholars, universities and even the quality publishers. He even had quite a lot to say about my Ibadan city! I was beginning to think he was something of an “anjonnu” – a wizard!

He has a fine sense of humour too with his regular quips, anecdotes and witticisms. He told me bluntly: “I have an idea I’d have to see a psychiatrist after finishing with you!” Apparently I was sending him around the bend! I assured him it was mutual, with his scholarly pontifications.

I was also staggered with Achal’s generosity. He was ready to pay princely sums to buy certain publications (books), and in incongruous fashion, I found myself in a position where I had to be convincing him not to pay so much for certain works. He assured us that he was a most assiduous reader, who could be at ease devouring the classics and at the same time appreciating what some might dub “trashy literature.”

For me, one of the highlights of his visit was when Achal visited Flaxman Qoopane’s famous “Literary Gallery”. Qoopane, author, poet and journalist, has a fascinating collection of articles, interviews, critiques and lurid photographs of hundreds of writers – especially African - across the world. Achal was busying taking photos hither and thither and putting in appropriate comments intermittently.

Hector Kunene, always something of a dynamo and a whirlwind of activity, was often in “action” too, as an enthusiastic host and “chaperon” for Achal Prabhala. He was ably “assisted” by the charming Jah Rose, as the red carpet was metaphorically laid out for the illustrious guest.

Not that Achal always appreciated being complimented. He strongly resented my calling him a superstar, for one thing. “You’ve abused that word!” he explained to me, smiling. “Don’t describe me in that way...” It was an unforgettable visit.

THE FACEBOOK PHENOMENON

By OMOSEYE BOLAJI

Right) Mark Zuckerberg

It is a gargantuan phenomenon we can not get away from; inextricably part of the warp and weft of the modern world we live in. Facebook! Everybody is, or wants to be part of this gargantuan social network. “Are you on facebook?” is a standard question one is faced with now on a regular basis. It’s in your face!

Now, let me confess from the outset that I am not registered on facebook. I have nothing against it, but as an “old fogey” I do not feel compelled to join facebook, a fact which so many people want me hanged, drawn and quartered for! Every time I am invited by so many people to join facebook; and though I have not joined for years, I do look at photos etc countless people send to me via facebook.

Countless times in South Africa here, people (especially young ladies) would shake their heads with shock, angst and pity after I have confessed that I am not on facebook. “You don’t know what you are missing!” they would declaim. That’s modern technology for you.

On my own part, I do not believe I am missing anything, as I find the general internet (e.g Google, Wikipedia, specialised websites) more fruitful than social networking. I’d rather text (SMS,) phone, or email friends and acquaintances if needs be! I’m not interested in trivialities and banalities which so many facebook followers wallow in.

Don’t get me wrong – I realise facebook is a marvellous creation in its own way. Take a few statistics for example – More than half a BILLION people visit facebook every month; the company itself is worth well over 21 BILLION POUNDS! The founder, young Mark Zuckerberg (26) is personally worth over FOUR BILLION POUNDS.

And that is where my interest really lies – I mean the founder, not what he’s worth. I have always been fascinated with great inventors from the beginning of time. Tragically, many young people nowadays thoughtlessly just wallow in materialism, bask in the perks of the modern world; without even making an attempt to learn about the brilliant, selfless geniuses who, little by little over the last two centuries or so, discovered or founded the modern marvels of the technological era we now enjoy.

The most important invention in the modern era was of course electricity – the foundation of all technology now. Fantastic men like Michael Faraday experimented, discovered, worked on electricity. We take all these things for granted now. Telephone. Morse Code. Television. Radio. Aeroplanes. Computers...how did they start? In my book, Tebogo and the pantophagist (2010) I dwelled on this and more; in my own small way paying tribute to these great, great inventors.

Mark Zuckerberg, founder of facebook, has already gone down in history as one of the all time great inventors. And he is still only 26! Like the founders of Google (Larry Page and Sergey Brin), Mark Zuckerberg loves a simple, quiet life – the type of lifestyle that would make many black African communities (with their mindless worship of materialism) to regard this great inventor as “crazy”

Despite his billions, Mark lives in a small rented – yes, RENTED house. He is almost always in cheap clothes, especially jeans. He goes out himself to buy food; he often walks to his office. Oh and by the way he drives a humble Acura car – with many of his employees driving better cars than him! In other words, Mark Zuckerberg is staying true to what made him world famous – solitude, selflessness, experimentation, lack of ostentation. Although he is the youngest BILLIONAIRE in the world, he has hardly changed.

For the records, Mark launched Facebook in 2004 in his Harvard University dormitory room, initially as a way for students at different universities to communicate. Soon Microsoft was buying less than two percent in his company for 150 MILLION POUNDS. Facebook continued to grow from strength to strength, later taking even Africa by storm. Facebook now employs almost 2000 people.

Let’s raise a glass to truly great men like Mark Zuckerberg; and to facebook!

GEM OF AN ARTIST

By OMOSEYE BOLAJI

(Right) Stephen Achugwo

An impressive crowd gathered at the historic Hoffman Square in Bloemfontein city (South Africa). On my own part I wondered what was going on. A public speaker holding forth? Traditional dancers gyrating? Or was it the famed “iron bender” who intermittently entertained people?

None of the above! It was actually an impromptu exhibition of the works of an artist; a painter, that people were drooling over. I moved closer and saw that the paintings were excellent. There was one on Oprah Winfrey, the celebrated American talk show hostess. There were others delineating sundry well known figures.

But probably the piece de resistance was that of the revered Nelson Mandela, depicting him in his glory; regal, refulgent, even coruscating. It was not surprising that so many people congregated around this particular painting.

Right there and then people were already negotiating, buying some of the paintings; others, especially ladies, were requesting the painter - the cynosure of all eyes - to make such colour portraits (paintings) for them too. Yet, as I got near the painter his accent made it clear to me that he could not be a South African. Now, he grinned at me and said:

“Old boy, why you dey look at me like that?” Then he added in formal English: “Both of us are from Nigeria. Don’t say you have not heard about me, as I know you well. You are Omoseye Bolaji the journalist and writer; no be so?”

We hugged each other and a couple of journalists who knew me well, including the iconic Flaxman Qoopane, laughed. But not everybody welcomed my “intrusion” at that moment. Some of them wanted to continue negotiations with the painter, whose name is Stephen Achugwo.

Yes, Stephen Achugwo is from Nigeria. He came to South Africa in October 2002. “My philosophy in art is based on inspiration. I love creating paintings and artworks that inspire people. I believe that with inspiration, a man can achieve stupendous success in any calling,” he was to explain.

Now, Stephen Chinedu Achugwo has become quite well known in South Africa. Recently he completed a splendid painting which pays tribute to eleven celebrated international musicians.

As he explained: “I was commissioned by the owners of the Ekhayeni Pub & Grill to use oil colours on canvas to paint the following late musicians, Luciano Pavarotti, Tupac Shakur, Miles Davis, Michael Jackson, Luther Vandross. Marvin Gaye, Barry White, Gerald Levert, Groover Washington, Notorius Big and Bob Marley. The painting is titled the last Super @ Ekhayeni. The size of the painting is 3m by 1 and half meter.”

His eye – catching paintings also hang on the walls of many business buildings in South Africa. He reminisced: “During the World Cup (which SA hosted in 2010) tourists bought many of my paintings. It has been my wish to sell some of my work to the tourists. I have also exhibited my paintings at several art galleries; and at the international Macufe festival”

And by the way, Aducho has done my own portrait too – it somewhat occupies pride of place in my home!