THE BEGUILING OUTING

By OMOSEYE BOLAJI

Early January. Vestiges of New Year Celebrations. I was in the South African toropo (city) of Bloemfontein in somewhat desultory fashion, when a female acquaintance saw me, came to me. We talked, “catching up”, as they say. Then my phone rang.

It was Sibusiso, a friend/acquaintance of mine; also a poet of sorts. “Mr Bolaji,” he thundered into the phone. “Right now I have so much extra money and I have not seen you for a long time. Let’s have lunch and drinks unlimited at the Waterfront NOW. Please! I am already at the Ocean Basket. You can bring anybody with you, male or female; but preferably female! Meet me there soonest if possible, and it’s jabulane (enjoyment) time,”

I sighed. The lady beside me asked what was going on and I told her. Like many black women she was excited about “enjoying at the Waterfront” – a famed place where people (mostly comfortable whites) can let their hair down, enjoy near the waters, luxuriate in the salubrious breeze, impressive edifices etc. “Are you crazy?” said she. “You say the guy said you can even bring a companion along…let’s go there now and enjoy!” So we went to the Waterfront.

Sibusiso was already there at the “Ocean Basket” section, enjoying a few ice-cold drinks. It was incongruous to see him seated alone, at a table meant for four people. “Doesn’t he have any friends; any woman?” my lady companion asked. But before I could reply, we were already beside Sibusiso who greeted us fulsomely.

“Hantle! (fine)” he said. He stared at the lady with me “Ah, it’s so nice having feminine company too!” He exchanged pleasantries with her. Sibusiso was around 40 years old, charming and always smiling. “Please don’t be shy or stingy. Order anything you want! It’s all on me!” he beamed. “I have not seen Ntate Bolaji for months; we only see him in the papers!”

It was a wonderful time had by all as exotic meals and drinks flowed. The lady enjoyed herself a lot. She became quite cosy with Sibusiso. He spoke frankly, even intermittently referring to the time he had spent behind bars, in jail (without his going into details). This did not faze our lady companion as she cuddled close to him (the power of money?) happily gave him her cell number, and talking liberally about herself. When it was all over (in the evening), with all of us sated at his expense, she threw her arms around him and gave him an almighty hug. “Call me,” she said, a seductive smile on her face.

My female companion was delectably drunk. As she kept on repeating, she could not remember the last time she had had such a wonderful time. I escorted her to her place (also in the city). “Well thanks for your company,” I said, preparing to leave.

“By the way,” she said, suddenly focusing. “Apparently, Sibusiso was in jail for some time. Such a nice man. What did he do? Some sort of fraud? Or don’t you know what his offence was?”

Rather indignantly, I retorted that of course I knew what Sibusiso had done that had landed him in jail for years. I told her that he had killed his wife, stabbed her viciously many times whilst putting an end to her life. The lady flinched.

“A murderer! A wife killer!” she shouted. “And you let us go to him for drinks and food! How can you do this to me?”

“Come on,” I said peaceably. “You persuaded me, us, to go to him. You remember? You enjoyed yourself a lot there. You insisted on giving him your phone number. You hugged him. You said he’s a good man. The man has served his time in jail; doesn’t he deserve to be treated decently now that he’s out?”

But the woman was still angry. She shouted epithets at me and said I had “disappointed” her. How could I do this? I sighed. Women! What could I do?

"DON'T PRESSURISE CREATIVE WRITERS" - Bolaji

(Above photos) Bolaji on vacations during the festive season

2012 has dawned and African literature will continue to be healthy in the New Year. During the festive season, well known writer Omoseye Bolaji was interviewed for a Cameroonian magazine by Theophile Ebounge. Excerpts here...

EBOUNGE: You have done very well in the genre of fiction. Yet many people say they do not like fiction much, that it’s much contrived, even absurd. Will you accept that a lot of absurd incidents crop up in fiction?

BOLAJI: Of course, yes. We confront a lot of absurdity in real life too; that’s why we have trenchant expressions like “stranger than fiction”. Incidentally, for those who worship “classical” literature, we might as well remember that a lot of such writing might come across as absurd too. Take early great works by Richardson for example – Pamela, Clarissa...so many strange goings-on. Or the world famous Gulliver’s Travels – nothing can be more absurd! Little people (Lilliputians), people so tall that tall men like me appear like dwarves, horses stated to be refined and supercilious...or consider Oscar Wilde’s classic on Dorian Gray. The weird Faustian “mirror stuff”, a man refusing to age, attacking the mirror ultimately and coming to a grotesque end. Surely all this can be dubbed absurd if one is inclined to be negative. My own opinion is that people who say these things (attacking fiction) are aware of their own limitations; that they just can’t read; and are looking for excuses!

EBOUNGE: I’m impressed that you refer to some classical works. I thought I read elsewhere that you are not really into classical literature...some critics say you don’t like the classics.

BOLAJI: Let’s get this clear –critics are not infallible, they make a lot of mistakes, they spout a lot of nonsense! But on the whole, they are very important even if it is because many of them stoke controversy, thereby drawing attention to certain works. I have nothing against the classics. There are so many of them; but I read quite a number of them when I was young and had the time and complementary concentration. You might remember that some of these critics have also pointed out many allusions to classical literature in my books, over the years. As a writer, I respect the classics...Flaubert – Madam Bovary: Hemingway –Nobel award winner with his sparse journalistic style. Virginia Woolf. Thomas Hardy. Conrad. George Orwell. TS Eliot. DH Lawrence. Charles Dickens. Samuel Becket(author of Waiting for Godot)The Bronte sisters. Of course Shakespeare. It’s just that as an African writer it disgusts me that many Eurocentric writers hardly know about our own writers who have produced classics; like Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, Ngugi, Ben Okri, Ayi Kwei Armah, Yvonne Vera, Dangarembga, Es’kia Mphahlele, Lewis Nkosi, Camara Laye etc.

EBOUNGE: Many critics say your career as a writer of fiction is over!

BOLAJI: Critics again! They are not deities. People must go out and read the large corpus of works already published and not be hankering for new works. I respect the critics who at least read one’s books, not the “clowns” who read the blurb of a book, or one or two half-baked reviews, and claim to know it all. Critics say I produced no fiction in 2011, yet across the world, my 2011 book, Miscellaneous Writings is largely categorised as “short stories”! This should tell you something. (Pause) Pa Achebe waited for over 20 years after writing A man of the People, before he published his next novel, Anthills of the Savannah. It was almost the same scenario for Ngugi whose Wizard of the Crow came out almost 20 years after his last novel. I published Ask Tebogo (novel) in 2004 and it was only four years later that I could publish another work of fiction, Tebogo and the Haka. It does not mean I am “finished”. Writers should not be put under pressure, ideally. But if I’m “finished”, then I am finished! Anyway, I can tell you that Mbali Publications will be bringing out a book of fiction of mine in early 2012. So are you happy?
(laughter)