Bonnie and Clyde!

By Omoseye Bolaji

The numinous concatenation of the skies was impressive enough that night for any normal being – but alas I was far from feeling normal. I was languid, desultory and tired. All I could think of was my bed! Yes here I was pausing outside a ‘watering hole’ at one of the townships. I had not been here for a long time.

Talk about serendipity! A young man I used to know his parents in the old days swept up beside me with glee. “Ntate Bolaji!” he enthused. “Where have you been? I now work here, inside this place serving the drinks. You care for a drink? You certainly look like it!”

I grinned. I felt like something the cat had dragged in. It had been a long long day, no thanks to publishers’ deadlines. My new book had to be ready by this particular weekend and nna (myself) a somewhat leisurely person if given the chance had to over-stretch myself to prod a new manuscript into something approaching being publishable. 

But that is how the cookie crumbles. It had been an arduous day. And I needed a drink!

So I followed Andy inside and told him I needed a VERY cold drink. Which he soon provided. I sat down alone in a corner savouring the drink, feeling a bit human now. 

Suke!

I hardly cared about other people around male and female relaxing drinking here. I was enjoying my own world; certainly far from “A brave new world” – Aldous Huxley!

Then I saw a young lady walking towards me; tall, confident, quite pretty though rather shop-soiled – but who was I to critique? I was “finished” too! She moved close to me and sat down beside me. “I hope you don’t mind being disturbed by me” she said. She told me her name; or pseudo-name!

I smiled. “Pleased to meet you,” I said. But I did not tell her my name. I had an idea that she wanted a drink, and feeling much better now I was ready to buy it for her. I hoped she would not pretend to like me or whatever; but she went on to do so… she began to flirt with me outrageously.

“Oh I love your skin, your hands, fingers,” she said. “I wish you could like me too. You are so sexy!”

I grinned, genuinely amused. “Don’t you think I am too old to be described in such a way?” I said.

“No…unless you don’t like me,” she said.  She added: “You’ll buy me a drink?”

I concealed a grin; I knew this was where we were going anyway. “Yes I’ll buy you a drink,” I said. “OK I’ll be back now; just give me a few minutes,” she said.

I stood up going to Andy who was looking very worried. I asked him why he looked so sad; whilst telling him to get a drink for the lady. Meanwhile the lady was not around.

Andy said: “Ntate pls be careful! That woman is dangerous! She pretends to like men every now and then, but she and her mean boyfriend go on to take the men for a ride. Both of them are crooks,”

“You mean like Bonnie and Clyde?” I said.

“Who’s Bonnie and Clyde?”

“Famous overseas American criminals long ago,” I said. “Partners. Male and female. Responsible for quite a number of deaths in their time. Both of them were gruesomely killed by the powers that be in the end though,”

Andy grimaced. I”I don’t know whether this girl and her man will be killed but they are dangerous enough. She lures men to her place and the guy turns up a bit later playing the incensed boyfriend and they take the man to the cleaners,” For me it was old hat, but still unsavoury enough. “I’ll handle her; just give her the drink I promised her,” I told Andy.

I went back to quickly finish my drink and the lady “Bonnie” snuggled closer to me, happy that I had bought her a drink. I knew I had to be tactical as I stood up now. “I’ll be coming back,” I said, “I just want to go to a bank ATM” her face brightened up. “I wanna give you a good time tonight!” There was no need to say I was on my way out, never to come back.

“Hantle (good)” she said. “Then later on tonight, we can go and relax at my place,” She smiled sexily. “Will you like that? You’ll like to come to my place?”

“I might at that,” I grinned…then I disappeared from “Bonnie” for good!!